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My fashion column from today’s Red & Black:
Attention, fashion-meisters and style skippers! Resolve the fatigue that tired trends have caused this winter, and hear this:
Go for it! Outdo spring’s traditional skin-baring fare with legless pants. Hyper-cognizant beyond its youthful novelty, legless pants sashay perfect circles around both skinny jeans and wide-leg trousers.
Take a pair of legless pants straight from day to night without any hitches, or britches, for that matter; from class to the club, from or the office to the orthodontist’s.
Consisting strictly of pockets and belt loops, this piece commands a brazen presence. Pair it with gym socks and a sequined top to give the impression of the incomprehensible, glamorous enigma, or with a crisp white blouse for job interviews (only the fabulous need apply).
Also, meet the pocket dress. Perfect for brunches and ladies who lunches, the garment is equal parts sweet and low maintenance.
Simply put, it is an enormous pocket. To sport it with panache, all one must do is to step inside, quite literally, and hop, hop, hop. Potato sack race-haters needn’t apply! (The fabulous may find applications online.)
Now recall, please, the tendency of fashion’s cosmic pendulum to swing back and forth between extremes. Recall and wince, for it not having occurred to you sooner: tiny little hats.
Where big floppy numbers once reigned, and even regular-sized berets and newsboy caps had their moment, tiny little baseball caps pick up their outdated pieces.
Just imagine! Tiny caps, shrunken to gently cradle a fine scallop or truffle if the moment required it; chic and practical.
For additional accessories, this spring seasons beckons forth the fierce in lieu of the precious. That said, eschew the miniature lap or handbag dog in favor of the komodo dragon, dog sweaters be damned. If well trained, it can additionally serve as a live hover board. Ride it down the street for an effect that screams, “Elegant! Exotic! Lazy, but in a cute way!”
And a quiet, miniature whisper of advice. Call 15-20 of your very closest best friends to make absolute certain you don’t leave the house looking like yourself, with no twin entourage. Just imagine that horror!
- Valentina Tapia is variety editor for The Red & Black. Visit www.not.com/jk for more trend reporting.
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